My interview.

So, I got a call the other day for an interview, for a life insurance company. Short version: I did not get the job. (The long version is much, much funnier.)

I was told by the recruiter on the phone that they got my resume on Monster, and would like to set up an interview with me. I had to ask what sort of company they were, and what kind of job they were looking to fill. That was my first warning; that information should have been volunteered freely, and without me having to ask.

I checked out the company's website beforehand; it was a real company, but they didn't have a record of the office I was headed toward. I chalked it up (tentatively) to the recruiter's explanation that "We only opened this office about a month ago". A red flag still went up in my mind.

So, I pulled up to the building at about ten minutes before the appointed time. It was a nice, professional looking office building. Points for them. I looked at the building directory, which not only didn't list the company, it didn't list the office I'd been sent to. The gates are down and red lights flashing at this point.

Undaunted, I went up the stairs and down the hall to a door, next to which the suite number I'd been given by the recruiter was printed out on a piece of paper and taped to the wall. This was the only suite in the building not to have its number etched in a glass plaque next to their door. "Danger, danger Will Robinson!" sounded briefly in my head.

I walked inside, and it looked more like a conference room than an office. There was a smaller room inside, containing two desks. If I were going to put up some "official"-looking business in a day or two, I like to think I'd have spent a little less on inspirational posters every two feet, and more on nicer chairs. Or, at the very least, I would have printed out two sets of business cards; one for each person in the "office". Several fog horns blasted simultaneously at my consciousness.

I handed them the requisite resume, and got an application in return. It was not quite the professionally laid out and Xeroxed thing I've come to expect from McDonald's (or my last employer, for that matter). (It asked for, among other things, my SSN. I did not give it.) The navigator from the Titanic asked to have a word, urgently.

Before I had a chance to finish filling out the resume, I and the other applicants were interrupted by the guy organizing this whole thing, "Ben". (The quotes aren't indicative of an alias; I just don't trust him to have given his real name.) He wanted to give a little talk about what this company was all about, and assured us that we were free to leave at any time. That's right- he just assured us that we were not, at the moment, imprisoned. Then his partner locked the door (from the inside, of course; I never felt as though I couldn't actually get up and leave). Then we got folders with papers inside. I idly pondered my chances of survival, should I have found it necessary to jump out the second-story window.

During Ben's spiel, one of the other audience members asked some question about the company. Ben's answer was reasonably eloquent and reflected well on the company. I wondered briefly how long they'd rehearsed it. While Ben talked, I leafed through the papers in the folder his cohort had handed us. I found a price sheet for training that the company offered. I got up and left.

There is a perfectly innocent explanation for everything I've seen. There's also the explanation I'm actually going to believe. Call me biased.

Zap.

I read about a health enhancement today. It just seems like a bad idea on the face of it: "Hey, we're going to open up your brain and put a wire inside!"

*BZZZT*

Okay, so maybe it's not so bad; I mean if it helps people...

*BZZZT*

You will get the government-issued implant.

Seriously, though, I have to wonder: can you get wifi on this thing?

Surprising news

Two items caught my eye the other day. One was from CNN, and presents the story of a soldier who is claiming harassment because he's an atheist. The story presents him as a reasonable guy who just doesn't want to subscribe to any religious doctrine. It presents the military as a bunch of jerks who won't leave him alone because of his beliefs. I'm not sure this would have been a news story ten years ago, so that's cool, but let's think about this:

Maybe religion makes you a better soldier.

I have heard that athletes who lie to themselves successfully do better in competitions. Maybe soldiers who would not be religious in civilian life adopt religion as a self-defense mechanism ("I know these guys say God's on their side, but God's really on ours!"). Maybe this spurs soldiers on to fight harder and feel more confident about their abilities, which may make them react to dangerous situations more quickly. I don't know any of this for certain (as is always the case), but it's worth some thought.

And on the subject of thought, I saw an interesting article over at Slashdot. It asks a philosophical question, and the people who respond give surprisingly philosophical responses. I'm pleased; usually, even when you ask a very smart group of people a philosophical question, they end up yelling nonsense. (My new formula: H = i / (q * n). The average IQ of the group (i) divided by the philosophical interest of the question (q) times the number of people in the asked group (n) equals the amount of time between when the question was asked and when people start yelling at each other.)

Here, however, the responses have a surprisingly high ratio of intelligent, worthwhile responses. I was really impressed.

Do I even have content anymore?

Or do I just link?

I only ask, since the guy mentioned in the above story actually does seem to produce content, but also quotes other stories. How much "blog" must a blogger have to call his blog a blog? (Man, that's a tongue-twister!) What happens if you don't hit that critical level of content? Is it not a blog anymore? This is going to keep me up at night.

No, wait; I live with my 3-year-old nephew and his parents. I sleep like the dead.

In other news, I'm getting a haircut today. I had to actually make an appointment. The place at which I'm getting shorn is more modern than what I'm used to. I admit, I'm a little nervous, but worst-case scenario: a minor scissors slip-up nicks one of my arteries and I bleed to death before anything can be done, being buried with a bad haircut. Worst-realistic-case scenario: I get a bad haircut, followed soon after by 1) a better haircut, or 2) the beginning of this sentence.

Your genes at work.

Okay, so maybe not your genes. Put differently, maybe not your genes. Still, biology's pretty weird, isn't it?

A couple of quotes hit me from those stories, though. First:

Brown and Nobles calculate that the approximate area needed to produce ethanol with corn to fuel all U.S. transportation needs is around 820,000 square miles, an area almost the size of the entire Midwest.

They hypothesize they could produce an equal amount of ethanol using an area half that size with the cyanobacteria based on current levels of productivity in the lab...

So all we need to do is cover 410,000 square miles of land with bacteria. Great! Energy problem solved! Because they'll friggin' eat us! Hooray!

Next, your brain:

Human errors are often put down to a momentary loss of concentration. But it now appears that sometimes a localised change in brain activity can be involved.

So, the big surprise is that your brain may be involved some how in your thought processes? Astounding! Somebody call Guinness! I know I'm going to need some stout after that.

Honestly, I don't know which is less shocking: lack of perspective from scientists, or lack of awareness from civilians.

Oh, the hilarity.

I can only hope that, should I ever choose to have kids, they will be clever enough to write something like this.

Also, the very last of the states haiku (I promise; any more and I'd be in the Pacific!):

Through Nevada, I
saw desert, desert, desert.
Then, surprise! City.

The end of the trip.
California, here I come!
No, wait; I arrived.

Run! More Haiku!

You were fairly warned. I feel no pity for you. Here are some more states:

West Indiana
looks so much like Iowa,
I noticed no change.

Nebraska is a
nearly straight line from one end,
through farms, to other.

I hit a blizzard
in Wyoming. Laramie
is where I felt chill.

Okay, you've suffered enough. Next time, more haiku; the last in the set.

Weirdness and haiku.

First, some weirdness. It makes you wonder about the newfound power of the rumor; it used to only be scary in local circles. Now, it's in the literature.

Also, some haiku, inspired by my journey across the country:

Back in Michigan
Unforeseen delays let me
say all my goodbyes.

I know I must have
driven through Chicago, but
I don't recall it.

And that's just a taste! More locations are to come. (Yes, I know they're bad.)

Bonus question: How many haiku are in this entry?

On the road: I've arrived!

So, sorry about the delay; I've been a little overwhelmed, what with the getting used to my new life in California thing. Here's how the whole deal shakes out:

I successfully drove to California. It was pretty cool.
I am looking for a job and an apartment. I hope these things will go well.

Mostly, I'm doing all right; I just turned in a bunch of applications to a local university, and I'll be turning in more applications as the week goes on. I have no idea whatever of what I want to be doing with my life in the grand sense, so for now I'm just going to keep taking whatever jobs come along; as long as the bills get paid, I'm not complaining. (The problem, of course, is that up until now, the bills have not, in fact, been getting paid. I live in hopes, however, that that will change.)

You need to see this.

You lose some, you win some. That's just how it goes.

On the road: Fourth and Final stop.

I am in Lovelock, NV. I'm a hundred miles or so east of Reno, which I remember distinctly as being featured in The Wizard.

Thanks to Harold, I have been turned on to Picasa (as it is a Google product), and have made a little album of photos. You should go there now.

Nevada is more or less as I expected it to be. Slightly garish cities separated by oceans of scrubland. I am always surprised by the cities, though; I'll see a sign for a town, and have no idea of how big it is until just after I've passed the exit for it on the freeway. Only then will the road curve around the mountains and reveal the secret surprise that is the town. Is it a bustling mini-metropolis? Or perhaps just a trailer park with good PR? I have made a game out of trying to guess correctly based on the number of times it is mentioned in other signs; I'm getting quite good. There is precious little else to do on the road, as I have listened to all my audiobooks. Tonight, I get some more. Hooray Librivox!

On the road: Third stop.

Sorry about the radio silence; I wasn't able to hop online last night. For the record, I did almost try.

So yesterday, I got up in Kalamazoo and fell asleep in Nebraska. In between, I drove a whole bunch. Most of that was through Iowa, which has the "World's Largest Truck Stop". I found a sign that said "Electrical Employees Only". I would have snapped a photo, except for the fact that it was opposite the hallway that led to the men's room, which means it was in the hall that led to the women's room. On sale at this particular truck stop were:

• Katanas


• Everything you would need to cosplay the villain in an old west movie


• More testicle-shaped truck adornments than I've ever seen in my life.

Okay, that last one isn't hard (I've never seen any, and wouldn't have known what they were if not for a particularly dirty-minded coworker). My only other thought on Iowa: wifi enabled rest stops. In retrospect, I should've availed myself of them.

Then, on to Nebraska! I first saw Omaha, home (evidently) of Paypal. It was well after sunset, though, so I didn't see the parts of Omaha that weren't as brightly lit as the Paypal building.

Lincoln was similarly dark, but there was a home there which was full of dog hair. Also dogs. Also my good friend Wendy. Her dog Bear is actually larger in person than I'd expected from the photos. Check her blog. You know you want to.

This morning, I drove through the rest of Nebraska, which was windy, which killed my gas mileage. It was unfortunate, but I was going to have to drive through the wind anyway, so I'm still proud of my little Rio and the gas mileage it got under adverse conditions.

Then I went through Wyoming, where the wind was joined by it's friend, blizzard-like snow! Yay! I would give you a sample of my thought process while dodging a half-dozen semis careening around mountain roads in like three feet of visibility, but children might see this blog.

In Wyoming, I went to Laramie, Wyoming. I stopped at a Wendy's. I got a Frosty Float. I overheard one of the employees use the word "gay" as a synonym for "bad". I left Laramie. Okay, I tooled around the campus a bit (it reminds me of a technical college more than a state school), but I think I got all the impression I need.

On a happy note, here are the states whose license plates I've seen since the last update:

ME	TN	IN	OK	WI
MN	NE	OH	IA	ND
MO	MA	TX	FL	WA
NH	NY	KS	VA	SD
UT	VT	AL	CO	GA
MT	OR	NJ	ID	NV
AZ	WY	DC	KY	MD

Wow. I'm impressed with me. You should be too. If not, know this: I have also seen three Canadian provinces. Manitoba remains elusive, in every sense of that phrase.

Here's an updated map.

On the road: First stop.

Here I am in Kalamazoo (former motto: "Yes, there really is a Kalamazoo"). This is what I'm calling my second stop on the trip; from Monroe, I went to my parents' house, then here. It's nice to be able to say goodbye to the places I've spent the overwhelming majority of my life.

The friend with whom I am staying has a cat and a dog. I have taken photos of them, but I don't have the cord that connects my camera and my computer handy, so you'll have to wait for them. That's something to take into consideration tomorrow morning, when I have more sunlight.

Also, I have purchased a small notepad and a couple of pens. Hopefully, they will be extra useful in my travels; making notes of gas mileage, places to stay, places to avoid, and things to remember to record here. So far, all I've written in it is a list of states whose license plates I've seen so far this trip. That list reads:

1. MI


2. IL

I expect to get Indiana and Ohio before tomorrow is done, and maybe several others. But we'll see what happens then. In the meantime, here is a google map of my progress so far:

View Larger Map

On the road, at last.

Okay, I haven't officially officially hit the road yet, but I've made hella good progress. I'm at my parents' house for the night, while my car gets checked out for damage by someone professionally qualified to do these things. Assuming all goes well (and when has it ever?), I'll be heading out to Kalamazoo tomorrow, and from there, points west.

In other news, I'm really excited about a new printer. It is a 3D printer; it builds physical objects layer by layer. That's not the only reason I'm excited, though. I'm also geeked about the mentality behind the people who are doing this project. First off, they want to make the design for their machine open source. This is a very good thing; it'll help people get their hands on the technology and start playing around with it in cool and fun new ways, which is good for all involved (and even those who aren't).

Second, they're working really hard on making this printer capable of making one of these printers. Yes, it will (hopefully/eventually) be capable of producing all of the parts necessary to make another printer. I think that's kickass.

So if you could make a physical object with any shape you choose, what would you make?

(Okay, I know what shape you would make, but get your mind out of the gutter for a second.)

False start.

Although today was supposed to be the first leg of my cross-country jaunt, I wasn't able to get everything settled in time to head out on schedule. Fortunately, I'm the one in charge of the schedule (mostly), so I get to relax tonight and not worry about missing appointments or anything. I really do enjoy this sense that I am a free man, able to make his own decisions and set his own pace. I highly recommend it to anyone.

Other than that, I'll probably be setting out tomorrow. If I feel like it.

Links to pictures!

I have found a standalone image, an image with accompanying text, and a whole set of images. They all make me pretty happy, especially that first one; it describes exactly how elementary school made me feel pretty much all of the time.

Just click.

Oh, hells yes.

Gasp; can it be... follow up?

So, I noticed a story, linked from Slashdot, which helps me with an earlier point: I believe I said that there isn't enough mass in the solar system to make a black hole. According to the article, the smallest known black hole is a mere 3.8 solar masses. So how does that compare to the mass, not only of our sun, but of our whole solar system? Do the planets make up 2.8 solar masses collectively?

No. No they don't.

Wikipedia tells me that Jupiter is 1/1000th of a solar mass, and that it is not only the largest planet, but also the heaviest. And there is a major dropoff in mass after that. The next biggie on the list, Saturn, is a mere 0.3 Jovian masses. But let's assume that every planet in the solar system was as heavy as Jupiter, and that, additionally, there were like 50 extra planets we just hadn't seen before, because scientists kept putting their thumbs over the camera lens or something. Here's the math on that one:

1 solar mass
+ (50 x 1/1000) solar masses
= 1.05 solar masses.

We're still a good 2.75 solar masses away from being the tiniest of black holes in the known universe.

This is, of course, not to say that there can't be a smaller black hole, but this newly discovered tiny black hole thing is almost four times the weight of our entire solar system, and is packed into a fifteen-mile sphere. The weight of the entire Earth would have to be packed into a pocket-sized volume to even approach that density.

Also, the danger of a black hole is that it has a massive gravitational field because it has, well, a lot of mass. These scientists at CERN aren't playing around with entire solar systems; hell- they aren't playing around with entire atoms. Worry not, good people of the earth: You'll have plenty of time to destroy the earth the conventional way before a black hole ever does us all in.

Just how much is grounds for a lawsuit, anyway?

There is a slight change in today's color scheme; can you see it?

It is in response to a cease and desist letter sent by one large group of people, whom I've never met, and who are probably richer than I against another, slightly less large group of people, whom I've never met, and who are probably richer than I. I have chosen to take sides in this conflict, partly because the basis of the conflict is a color, and partly because I do not enjoy sports.

My normal color scheme should return tomorrow. I hope.

(Edit 4/3/08: I turned off the change. The titles were all magenta for a day. If you missed it: too bad. Sorry. Still, read the links; it's a bit weird.)