Employment:

It works just like Scott Adams says.

A few weeks back, I worked really really hard at my job. There was a lot to do, and I even had to call in Mike to help me out. But something went wrong with the files I sent to the office, so my work never showed up anywhere, and never actually made any kind of difference. My boss did not yell at me for this. In fact, she didn't say anything at all. I found out from Mike that, "Oh, she decided not to use it."

After that, I just kind of gave up on productivity. If my work got done, it got done, and if not, I don't get paid enough to give a rat's pimpled, pus-filled ass. I am now, officially, a slacker.

Today I got a raise.

I'm going to read Sartre's "Nausea" now. Well, not now; I have to do something to fill my workday, after all.

So anyway,

I heard a friend of mine got pregnant. I won't reveal her identity, as she may or may not want it to go public yet. Suffice to say, it's no one you know. But it got me thinking: What's the worst-case scenario here? Here.

Also, did you hear about that kid getting Tased at school? I speak from personal experience: you cannot hear someone getting two to three hundred thousand volts pumped into them and feel good about yourself or your species immediately afterwards. The experience of which I speak comes from the hospital, where I sometimes had to take blood for alcohol testing by a police lab. One such patient had opinions as to whether or not he should stand up with which the arresting officers disagreed. I didn't feel safe in the room while they sorted out their various philosophies, so I stepped out for a minute. I then heard a sharp crackle, and when I was summoned back to the room, the guy was a helluva lot more compliant. He didn't scream or cry; he just took it. I'm not sure if I was more scared before the Tasering or after. (Sorry if I've already told this story; but it's weird the kinds of things you reminisce about.)

State of the Law.

My new vocation has me thinking more and more about what is going on in the legal environment of the country. Seemingly frivolous suits may turn out to be important (?), and suits where someone really feels that they have been wronged may wind up just stupid.

I feel a little stupid for not having predicted that someone would, in fact, file an answer to the suit against God. I am a little impressed that somebody managed to pull it off in such a mysterious way, but any amateur magician could have performed a similar miracle.

As far as the joke thing goes, well, that's life. Since many jokes these days boil down to humorous metaphors, I can't really see that this guy has a claim against Colbert. He might have invented the comparison, but I don't think he would be the only person on the planet to have done so without outside influence. I myself often make little cracks, only to see them play out on major media at later times. I don't think, "Hey, I said it first!" I instead think, "Hey, I'm as clever as the professionals!"

Incidentally, I want to explain the most famous frivolous law suit of the past decade: Hot coffee. Stella Liebeck spilled some McDonald's coffee on her lap, and sued the restaurant. Some of the more common things I've heard include:
"Well, what did she expect? Cold coffee?" Actually, McDonald's policy was to heat the coffee to a temperature unsafe for humans when served. I've spilled coffee on myself before, but I never got third-degree burns from it; if I had, I'd be pissed at the person who made it for me, too. Poor Stella was not so lucky as I have been.
"Well, she should have put it in a cup holder." Her car had no cup holders. Besides, finding in favor of the defendant on these grounds would have essentially told the American public, "coffee is too dangerous to touch". Imagine millions of people, suddenly deprived of their coffee, since it may be hot.
"Well, it's still stupid." No, you're stupid. Don't dismiss the facts just because you'd rather make jokes at the expense of somebody's grandmother who sustained very serious injuries.

I don't think I've given this much thought to a lawsuit, even when I was in law school.

Is football a religion?

Evidently. I mean, millions of people sit down to watch it every Sunday, learning many pointless rules and ideas that are totally impracticable in real life, and although people think about it from time to time during the week, the morality set down in scripture does not play out in every day kinds of decisions. For instance, I'm pretty sure this would be a serious penalty.

Meanwhile, standards of measure are growing and shrinking. We live in tumultuous times.

I'm listening to "Living on Earth" on NPR. I want to somehow help the world be more energy-conscious, but I also want to make some kind of real living. How can I combine these two interests?

Oh, what a world.

Death.

More death.

Hope.

Artists pass on, but their work remains, thanks to such modern technology as digital recording and the printing press. Meanwhile, technology pushes ever forward, which gives the world (or at least, the living organisms which call it home) a fighting chance. Ever since the wedding a couple of weeks ago, I've been thinking about what kind of a world we'll be leaving to the next generation. I want the future to mean something.

I also want a folding car. Flying cars = more danger = more insurance premiums. Flying cars = more fuel use = faster global warming. Flying cars = high-rise parking lots = better land use. One out of three ain't good.

Now, folding cars! Folding cars = lighter, more efficient vehicles = slower global warming. Folding cars = easier security (you take it with you!) = lower insurance premiums. Folding cars = NO parking lots = better land use. Three for three! I want my briefcase car, and I want it now. Australia, I put the challenge to you.

Wikiaccuracy.

This is the kind of project I'd like to work on.

A friend recently told me that "Wikipedia is only 75% accurate. You know why? Because anyone can edit it." She didn't seem too shocked when I pointed out that I had made a couple of changes of my own, but the question of Encyclopedia Britannica's accuracy was a non-starter of a discussion. After all, the EB is edited by an (relative to Wikipedia) extraordinarily small number of people, of whom none might be experts on contributors to Audobon magazine or Ohio townships of less than 2000 people.

God, I love the random page option.

In other news, everything else.

Should I?

I'm thinking of getting a "Second Life" account. I became a lot more interested when I found out it was inspired by Neil Stephenson's "Snow Crash", which is also the name of one of my computers. Does anyone out there play? Is it worth while? Is the free account good enough, or is the pay-to-play service worth the extra cash? Does it get all invasive into my regular life, or can I maintain my trademark anonymity? Will the questions ever cease? Yes!