Only because Kim demanded it.

Yes Virginia, I really was this bored.
Here is the longest survey you'll ever fill out! Do the world a favor: fill it out and post it for all your friends.... Do this because the person who sent it to you didn't sit here for ages for nothing. Answer all the questions honestly, no lying to avoid stuff.


Time started: 11:38 pm

First name: Yes

Single or Taken: What, this decade?

Sex: See above.

Birthday: 12-jun-1981 (I only had to change 3 things from Kim's.)

Sign: End Work Zone. (People protest the strangest things...)

Siblings: I'm the middle of five.

Eye color: Black, blue, white, red. (Innermost outward)

Hair Color: Depends on who you're asking.

Height: About 1.8 m

Innie or Outie: innie

What are you wearing right now: Black socks with holes in them, cargo pants, Boxer-briefs, a T-shirt with a pocket on the chest, and a sweatshirt

Can you make a dollar in change right now: No. Now stop asking, you moocher!

Favorite...
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Where is your fav place to shop: Best Buy, although Dave and Barry's is growing on me. (Like the man says, you can't beat $8 pants.)

Color: Green.

Number: 144. It's so gross!

Animals: Naked mole rats. Allergies suck.

Month: May. The weather is just right.

Movies: Mindwalk, and others that bore the snot out of normal people.

Juice: Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew is a juice!

Breakfast: Anything Kim has ever cooked, or will ever cook, for me. Because she's awesome.



Have you ever...
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Given anyone a bath: Nope.

Bungee Jumped: If I jump, I'll have a parachute.

Put your tongue on a frozen pole: Has anyone actually ever done that? The only time I've seen the effects of it is when I watched "A Christmas Story".

Broken a bone: Amazingly, no.

Played truth or dare: Yes. Let us never speak of it.

Been in a police car: I'm pretty sure, for a Boy Scouts trip or something.

Come close to dying: More often than I care to count.

Been in a sauna: Yes. Now stop picturing me like that.

Been in a hot tub: Yes, but it was in California, so I think it might just be called a "Tub" there.

Swam in the ocean: Two that I can think of offhand.

Fallen asleep in school: Not since second grade.

Ran away: Not as such.

Broken someone's heart: I may have, but I don't keep up with exes.

Cried when someone died: Never had anyone die on me; don't really look forward to it.

Fell off your chair: When I fell asleep in school.

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Who would call?

Saved AIM conversations: Yes, but it was business-related. Do I get a tax credit for that?

Saved e-mails: Quite a few, and none of my accounts is even close to full.

Fallen for one of your best friends? Seems like too much bother to me.

Made out with JUST a friend? Yeah. But in my defense, I was drunk... shortly afterward.

Used someone: We were using each other.

Been cheated on: If I were the cheatin' kind, I'd cheat on me. So probably.

What is...
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Your good luck charm: My lucky Guinness Widget. It took me hours to figure out how to get that damn thing out of the bottle!

What is beside you? 25 pounds of cat. Not, incidentally, the most cat I've ever had next to me.

Last thing you ate/drank: Spicy chicken sandwich with fries and coffee from Steak & Shake.

Best thing that has happened to you this year: Hanging out with Mike and Kim.

Worst thing that has happened to you this year: Got threatened by one of my roommates.


Have you had...
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Chicken pox: Yes.

Sore Throat: Every morning.

Surgery: Me? No. Seen someone else in surgery? ... No.

Stitches: I was never good at sewing.

Broken nose: Isn't there a bone in there? I mean, it's easy to make the world's longest survey if you don't mind redundant questions, but that's kind of a hollow victory.


Do you...
-----------------------------------------------------

Believe in love at first sight: Only because of Mike and Kim.

Like picnics: I love them! If they're on a table. With a trashcan nearby. Indoors.

Like school: I must; I keep going back. Is there such a thing as academic masochism?

What schools have you gone to: Starting in high school: International Academy, Oakland Community College, Western Michigan University, Kalamazoo Valley Community College, and Wayne State Law School. I hate ordering transcripts.

Would you eat a live hamster for $1,000,000: No, but oddly enough, I'm not opposed to hamster meat. I guess I just don't want to do the killing, though I'm fine with profiting off of someone else's kill.

If you were stuck on an island, what person would you want with you? Marlon Brando. His flesh would feed me for months, and he's already so heavily salt-laden that he's very well preserved!

Who was the last person that called you: My mother. I actually had to take out my phone and look at its call history to find that out.

Who was the last person you slow danced with? I honestly don't remember the last time I slow danced.

What makes you laugh the most? Dave Barry.

What makes you smile? Pleasant enough weather. Not too nice, just pleasant enough.


Last person...
------------------------------------------------------

You loved - Have I ever? Scratch that; I love Mike and Kim. But not in that way.

You yelled at? I don't really yell at people. At least, not when I think they can hear me.

Who last told you they loved you: Kim. I mean, Mom said she did, but I don't think she meant it.

Who is your loudest friend: Wade, I think.

Who you kissed: Refer back to "Made out with JUST a friend."


Do you/Are You...
------------------------------------------------------------

Do you like filling these out? I'm still here, ain't I?

Do you wear contacts or glasses? I wear sunglasses a lot.

Do you like yourself? Why? What's wrong with me? What's your problem, anyway?

Do you get along w/ your family: Quite a bit better, now that they live hundreds of miles away.

Stolen anything over $50: I'm pretty sure I've never stolen anything over $0.50.

Obsessive? I don't have the attention span.

Compulsive? At work, sometimes, but work will do that to anyone.

Anorexic? I'm just not hungry.


Final questions
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What are you listening to right now? The rain falling outside the window (a thunderstorm started while I was filling this out), two cats hissing. Well, one's hissing because he's pissed, the other's wheezing because... hell I don't know. She's a wheezer.

What did you do yesterday: Worked.

Hated someone in your family: Only one? For how long?

Got any awards: I'm almost certain...

Where do you want to get married: On Earth. By the time it happens, that'll be considered quaint and traditional.

If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? My stupid flesh-sack body. I am all about cyborgs!

Good Singer? I've met several...

How many remote controls are in your house: I can think of 6 offhand.

Are you double jointed? No, but if you're interested, my jaw unhinges...

Last time you took a bath: I'm a shower kind of guy.

Scary or happy movies: Happy. If a scary movie is good, it makes you sorry you watched it, and if it's bad, same thing.

Black or white: I told you, green! Are you not paying attention? I want to speak to your supervisor!

Root Beer or Dr.Pepper: Beer. Yes, I saw the word "Root"; I just don't care.

Vanilla or chocolate: Candy bar or pudding?

Skiing or Boarding: If I have to tell you "Green" one more time....

Summer or winter: Spring or Fall.

Silver or gold: Hell, if I make the bronze, it'll be a shock. I don't even know when the next Olympics are.

Diamond or pearl: Pearls go down smoother. A diamond just rips up your organs.

Sunset or Sunrise: Sunrise. If I ever see one again. Second shift sucks.

Sprite or 7up?: Okay, fine. ROOT beer. Happy now?

Cats or dogs: either if they're well-shaved.

Coffee or tea: Or? What do you mean "or"?

Phone or in person: In person. Talking faceless dumbbells weird me out.

Are you the oldest, middle , or youngest child: I'm the middle of the middle. I'm doubly unimportant.

Indoor or outdoor: Indoor, with the door closed and the lights off, baby.

Three things that scare you:
1. My roommates sometimes.
2. the movie "The Ring", especially when I'm drunk.
3. the idea that a person can get away with so damn much just by being President.

Three of your everyday essentials
1. Palm Pilot
2. iPod
3. Wallet

Three things you are wearing right now
1. Seriously, is there an authority I can report you to or something?
2. I mean, you aren't going to trick me with your stupid, redundant question.
3. Socks. Damnit!

three things you need in a relationship
1. love (stolen from Kim.)
2. respect/equality (Also stolen from Kim.)
3. Attraction. (My own addition; makes you wonder what Mike looks like, huh?)

Two truths and a lie in no order
1. i masturbate twice a day.
2. i masturbate once a day.
3. i never masturbate.

(Yes, I did follow the rules.)

Three PHYSICAL things about the opposite sex that appeal to you
1. Eyes.
2. Boobs.
3. A six-pack. Now, why is it that you only ask about the opposite sex, you homophobic git?

Three of your favourite hobbies
1. Reading
2. playing musical instruments
3. sleeping

Three things you want to do really badly RIGHT NOW
1. drink.
2. sleep
3. stop my eyes from itching. Stupid excess cats!

Three places you want to go
1. Bonn, Germany
2. Tokyo, Japan
3. Chicago, America.

(Return trips, all)

Three things you want to do before you die
1. Have another beer.
2. get a few more degrees.
3. cure the world of stupid.

Three things that annoy you
1. when i'm wrong and mike's right (yeah, I'm sticking with Kim's answer.)
2. Nurses who cannot order lab tests to save their lives. Or more pertinently, their PATIENTS lives.
3. Redundant questionaires. Hint, hint.

People I would like to see take this quiz--
Eddie Izzard. Man, that guy's hilarious!

Time you finished this: Check out the time this post was put up.