The line is drawn.

My longtime friend/newest archrival, Mike!, has declared war on me. How pitiful. I mean, he's going to stop supporting gay rights? So what? What did he ever do to support gay rights to begin with? I mean, really. The worst effects his lack of support will have are a few people who aren't ranted about passive-aggressively in his blog when they make openly homophobic comments.

Nevertheless, I feel compelled to stoop to his level and return fire. Except I've got the balls to back it up. I'm not only going to keep on supporting gay rights, I'm going to stop supporting straight rights! The worst we have to lose is legally being allowed to have sex (and illegal sex is much hotter anyway). Think of all those rights that straight people have to lose! Fellow queers, throw off your bonds of oppression! Overthrow the corporate oligarchy! Give up the trappings of modern culture which feed the hate machine!

Crap, the trappings of modern culture which feed the hate machine are awesome. Okay, keep them, but join me as we agree never to give Mike! a tasteful haircut or quickly served meal ever again. Haha! This war will reach epic proportions before I'm done!