As McFly says, "Heavy".

So, I went to get tested for HIV yesterday. No real reason for it; it was just time. I had actually never been tested before. I get my results in a week, and I am scared as hell. Again, no reason; it's just a huge thing, and I've never done it before, and I have to wait a week, so it's only natural that I be scared as hell.

All of that aside, though, I think everyone should be tested. Preferably right now, but I understand if some people cannot get tested until tomorrow. It is absolutely painless. They have this new swab/sponge thingy that you stick in your mouth for five minutes, then put in a stabilizer and ship to a lab. It is totally anonymous, assuming that you don't happen to know the person who is testing you, which I did. It was a little awkward, but it still went okay. Even if the mouth swab were, by some remote and unlikely stroke of fate, to come back positive, it wouldn't be "official" that I was positive until I took a blood test, which is not, in my experience, a painless procedure. Lots of my patients tell me that they don't even feel the needle; I assume they are either lying or doped up. Every time someone sticks me with a needle (which is twice, that I can remember), I damn well feel it.

So yeah. Go get tested. It's free in many places. It doesn't hurt. It's anonymous. It's scary as hell, but you'll still recommend it to all your friends. Your favorite celebrity (Tom Hanks) did it in that movie (Big). And when it's over, you'll be a better person, people will sleep with you more, you'll make more money, and you'll be elected dictator for life of a small country. Maybe.